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Since 2009, divorcing couples who are parents of minor children have been legally obligated to draw up a parenting plan. This parenting plan sets out all formal agreements regarding contact with and care of the children. The idea behind the legislation was that the mandatory parenting plan would smooth the divorce process and lead to more contact between parents and children after the divorce. But has this actually been the case? In the book 'Compliance with contact and custody agreements following divorce', Dynamics of Youth researchers Wendy Schrama, Christina Jeppesen-de Boer and Inge van der Valk (and other researchers) share their findings.

The researchers focused primarily on how to improve the realisation of agreements between parents. It is important that children retain contact with both parents after a divorce, as having a positive and supportive relationship with both parents has been shown to favourably affect the function and development of children. In the absence of such a relationship, children may develop loyalty-related issues. Children have an inherent desire to remain loyal to both parents. When parents are in conflict with one another regarding the custody arrangements, however, this becomes more difficult for the children. They may feel themselves to be caught in the middle. Poor compliance with agreements may also negatively impact both the quality of parenting and the quality of the parent-child relationship.

What makes compliance so difficult?

The study reveals that some parents find it difficult to honour the agreements they have made. One possible reason for this is that parents view the parenting plan mainly (or only) as a necessary formality for finalising the divorce, and therefore fail to fully implement the plan when it is time to effectively divide parenting duties after the divorce. Another finding is that the moment at which the agreements are made – and the lack of associated guidance and follow-up support – is less than ideal for some parents. It has been shown that in many cases in which parents fail to comply with the agreements, they themselves are still experiencing great distress from their own unprocessed emotions in connection with the divorce. Conflict between the parents is another factor that can result in poor compliance with the agreements.

Problems with compliance with agreements may also arise in the longer term. For example, certain changes may occur over the years which affect the previously made agreements, such as a new phase in the children's lives, a move, different hours for school or work, or a new partner for one of the parents. When the parents do not adjust the agreements in response, this may pose an obstacle to proper compliance and conflict may then ensue.

Possible solutions

The researchers have identified multiple potential solutions for ensuring that parents comply more fully with the agreements in the parenting plan. To that end, they have also examined how this problem is being addressed in other countries. When, for instance, parents find it difficult to draw up a set of agreements, legal and other instruments could be deployed to support the parents in those efforts. A second option would be to develop a ‘divorce help desk’ to which parents could turn for assistance in drafting a parenting plan. This divorce help desk could also refer parents when they need outside help in coping with the divorce.

In addition, the voices of the children involved should be more effectively represented during a divorce. One way to do this is to allow children and parents to evaluate the agreements in the parenting plan together, and to strongly emphasize the dynamic nature of the parenting plan so that parents can adjust the agreements in response to changes in their circumstances. In short, a variety of opportunities exist for optimising co-parenting – and therefore the functioning of the children involved – following a divorce.

Research theme Dynamics of Youth

If you want to tackle social problems, it would be best to start with children. The Utrecht-based research theme Dynamics of Youth invests in a resilient youth. Academics from all fields collaborate in order to learn to better understand child development. How can we help children and youngsters to grow and flourish in our rapidly changing society